For many alumni, the question isn’t whether they care about Sigma Alpha Epsilon; it’s whether they can realistically give back amid careers, marriages, and young families. Nick Trelka’s (Cincinnati ’05) journey offers a powerful answer: advising and mentorship are not only possible at every stage of life, but they are also essential to the future of the Fraternity.
Looking back on his undergraduate years, Nick now recognizes that SAE fulfilled a need he didn’t fully understand at the time. He didn’t just need friends or a social outlet; he needed a tribe. A chapter grounded in purpose, continuity, and meaning that extended far beyond four or five years of coursework. Growing the Chapter through adversity alongside his closest friends shaped them into better men, not just better students.
Nick reflects that this experience aligns closely with self-determination theory, which suggests people need three things to thrive: competence, authenticity, and connection. SAE uniquely satisfied all three. It offered real responsibility, space to be genuine, and bonds that endured long after graduation. That sense of permanence became clear early. Many of the mentors Nick relied on as a collegian, men who guided him nearly 25 years ago, are now the same Brothers he serves with on DeVotie Hall. Watching alumni from the 1970s and 1980s give their time, energy, and presence to Chapters and SAE committees continues to show him that SAE is a different kind of organization, one built for life.
One moment, in particular, left a lasting impression on Nick about why it is important to get involved and stay involved. During his sophomore year, alumnus Dave Lance (Cincinnati ’56) took a small group of collegians to dinner simply because he enjoyed talking about the Chapter. There was no agenda, no lesson plan, just fellowship. That simple act demonstrated what mentorship can look like when it is rooted in genuine care rather than obligation.
Nick’s transition from collegian to volunteer happened organically. After graduation, he spent time abroad in Germany and later returned to the United States, eager to rebuild his network. A single phone call connected him to alumni in a new province, and from there, each career move opened doors to new Brothers and new opportunities to serve. Over time, Nick learned that sustained service is built on relationships.
As an advisor, he quickly realized that mentorship requires a shift in mindset. Being “one of the guys” gives way to consistency, clarity, and accountability. Leadership demands fairness, even in complex circumstances. Friendship and accountability must coexist if young men are going to grow. Today, much of Nick’s formal role involves stewarding a historic chapter property as President of the Housing Corporation. But the deeper work lies in helping collegians understand what it means to care for something larger than themselves. The James Gamble Nippert Memorial Lodge is more than a building; it is where memories live, where alumni return, and where identity is reinforced. Teaching young leaders to steward that legacy prepares them not only to run a chapter house but to serve elsewhere in the Realm and beyond.
Nick hopes his impact on collegians is twofold. First, he wants to help them have the best possible undergraduate experience, avoiding unnecessary mistakes and recognizing blind spots before they become setbacks. Second, he wants them to understand the intergenerational nature of SAE: that fulfillment does not end at graduation, but continues through mentorship, volunteering, and lifelong friendship.
One defining moment came at a national convention, when a collegian leader was ready to end the evening early. As they passed a lounge full of alumni, Nick encouraged him to stop and listen. As men from different generations shared stories and laughter, the collegian’s understanding of SAE shifted, from events and big nights to a lifetime of relationships and service. That moment ultimately inspired him to step into alumni leadership himself.
Mentoring undergraduate members has also shaped Nick personally. It has deepened his understanding of the Ritual and reinforced its necessity, especially during difficult seasons like the COVID years. Walking alongside young men through uncertainty strengthened his appreciation for perseverance and reminded him that friendship should never be taken for granted.
For alumni concerned about balancing service with family life, Nick is candid and practical. Balance doesn’t happen accidentally; it is intentional. His family plans together, leadership is shared rather than carried alone, and boundaries are respected. Most importantly, he explains to his children why he volunteers. In doing so, he models the very mentorship he hopes they will one day offer others.
That commitment is made possible by strong family support. Nick’s wife, Marie, understands what SAE gave him in his early adult life and what it continues to give him today. Their children have grown up around the Chapter, learning, sometimes literally with a broom in hand, that service is part of belonging.
Nick’s message to young alumni is simple and reassuring: start small. Attend an alumni event. Stay connected. Offer what you can. Someone once made time for you; now it’s your turn.
He believes the True Gentleman framework remains timeless because it emphasizes growth through choice, interaction, and service. No one becomes a True Gentleman alone, and no one ever finishes becoming one. That understanding transforms giving back from a burden into a natural extension of living our values.
Ironically, Nick notes that some of the most rewarding moments of advising come during adversity. Walking through hardship together reflects the heart of Brotherhood, built not through grand gestures, but through hundreds of small, daily acts of commitment. What keeps him energized is seeing younger Brothers rediscover the same lessons he once learned. That moment when someone truly “gets it,” when the values click, never gets old. Every Brother deserves that experience.
When Nick looks to the future of SAE, he finds hope in continuity. Across the country, outstanding men continue to emerge as SAEs, not by coincidence, but by shared principles. The man initiated tomorrow will sign his name to the same mission and Ritual as those who came before him. That unbroken line means every Brother has the potential to become the next “Greatest SAE.” And it starts with alumni who choose to step forward, mentor, and make the time, just as someone once did for them.
To Brother Trelka: Thank you for your leadership, your heart, and your unwavering dedication to Sigma Alpha Epsilon.
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